"There was an awkward pause, and something that should’ve began, Just passed us by." -Ted Leo

So I had a post all written on Saturday that I was going to finish writing yesterday and now that post is utterly pointless so I'm going to rant to you now about annoying girls. This is a rant I've been needing to get out. If you are a girl, you may get offended and if you get offended reading this then I'm pretty sure it's because you ARE an annoying girl, sorry about your bad luck. So here are my top reasons for hating girls:

1. They take three hours to get ready. Seriously. I can get up, take a shower, blow dry AND straighten my hair, do makeup and get dressed in one hour. If I can do all that, why does it take you THREE HOURS to put on makeup and pick out a dress? Annoying.

2. PDA. I understand you love your boyfriend/fiance/husband/whatever. But really. Let him come up for air. Same goes for guys. I don't wanna see you making out in front of me while I wait in line for a movie, concert, comedy show or a HAPPY MEAL. Hold hands. Hug. Give little kisses. GREAT. Do not grope or start having sex in line. No one wants to see it and I promise you, not matter how dark it is, someone is wanting to vomit looking at you. Thanks.

3. CRAZY jealous girls. Really? Are you so insecure that you would really be upset with your guy for having friends that are girls? BUT you can have 9 million guy friends? Oh, but that's "different". No. It isn't. Let the boy have his gal pals. Some guys need chick friends. Some guys get along better with them. If he wanted to be with HER, then he either would have tried... or they already have. Either way it didn't work out, stop WHINING about it.

4. OBSESSIVE GIRLS. Do you really need to know why it took him an hour to answer your text when normally it only takes 2-5 minutes depending on if he had to take a crap first? He didn't call you after work like you like him to so you CALL and TEXT a hundred times until he picks up the phone and then YOU'RE angry he's upset at you? Stop being crazy. Weirdo.

5. CRAZY EXES. Okay. I understand it was the best month and a half of your life and you two were engaged... but stop driving past his house. Stop stalking him on FB and PLEASE for the love of all which is HOLY don't text him, call him, email him, carrier pigeon, or smoke signal him. It's called a break up because it's BROKEN. Cry all you need.. Call your girlfriends. You have half the time the relationship lasts to grieve. Then we don't care anymore. And honestly, your girlfriends stop caring MUCH sooner, we just understand and listen. After month one we wanted you to shut up. But we still love you. He doesn't want to hear about the dream you had and if he knew half the crap you DID.. he would get a restraining order. Truth.