Zombie Jesus Day

I'm not one for blasphemy... but that's funny. =)

I spent the night at Nikki and Megan's last night.. and there is so much drama going on with Jason it's not funny. I was hoping that when him and I stopped being friends that everything would calm down and his girlfriend would back off, but it's gotten worse. And he's taking it because he "LOOOOVES HER". He sounds like one of those stupid abused females on Maury who stay with their husbands because they love them, even though they ran over them with the car. Really.

Outside of that they seem to be doing quite well. Nikki is going to ACU this fall, which means I'll be visiting her a lot. I can't live without my Nikki. I'll miss my SEESTER too much.

Spending time with my dad today. It's more like.. I'm writing and watching Last Boyscout while he cooks and we are the only ones here at the moment. Exciting stuff that =)

Promise to Forgive

:So I definitely wrote this as lyrics, not a poem:

I've always been in love affairs
That were picture-in-picture
So forgive me if being on the big screen is something new
But I promise I'll fill the screen with love songs and melodies
That will take your breath away
I promise you today...

You won't regret the ticket it took to hold me close to you
And I'll cover your heart if only for a moment or two
But forgive me if I'm clumsy or say the wrong things
Cause the right ones always got me hurt,
so I'm used to holding in feelings
But I'm tired of being guarded
So I'm just gonna leap
No matter how steep, the fall...

I've always been the one to kiss,
the one to touch, to hold, to love the most
I've never had a love returned,
and that's what has hurt me the most
I've been waiting for a love to love me unconditionally
I have so much love to give
That's part of what makes me, me

So forgive me if I clothe myself in false security
And if I don't know how to reach for your hand
I hope you'll understand
That I'm scared you'll burn me
And I already have so many scars
I'm trying to hide

But I promise you the truth to every question that you ask me
And I swear to you that I'll never wear my mask again
I'm so used to being everyone elses version of me
But you pull out someone that I used to be
I'm scared you won't like what you see
The real me

Forgive me for the worries that dance inside of my head
For the imperfections or anything that
Might make you see red
And I hope you'll learn to love me when blue skies turn gray
And learn to love me more with each passing day
Cause I promise I will too
Hear the truth in what I say

And forgive me for everything I'm not
But I'll promise you everything that I am
I just hope you understand

I want a little quickie, you want a little quickie, I'll give a little quickie, dang I'm such a ho.

I'm sitting with Megan. She has decided I should blog about how sexy she is.
While this is true, she is:

1) 15, and that's pedophil-ic.

AND:

2) Female

Both I don't find SEXY. Sorry. But I will write about how annoying it is to have her read this over my shoulder. Verbatim. OUTLOUD. And she is correcting my grammar, EVEN THOUGH I HAVE SPELL CHECK red underlining EVERYTHING. Because I need it. Because I type faster than my brain works. Factoid.

Megan for some reason thinks all Midgets create chocolate from tree houses. I do not own a tree, nor a house... but I do make delicious treats. Just don't ask where the chocolate comes from. I do change diapers for a living.

(Megan giggled)
(So did Nikki)

Nikki says she more CHUCKLED, than GIGGLED. My BAD!

/End

"There was an awkward pause, and something that should’ve began, Just passed us by." -Ted Leo

So I had a post all written on Saturday that I was going to finish writing yesterday and now that post is utterly pointless so I'm going to rant to you now about annoying girls. This is a rant I've been needing to get out. If you are a girl, you may get offended and if you get offended reading this then I'm pretty sure it's because you ARE an annoying girl, sorry about your bad luck. So here are my top reasons for hating girls:

1. They take three hours to get ready. Seriously. I can get up, take a shower, blow dry AND straighten my hair, do makeup and get dressed in one hour. If I can do all that, why does it take you THREE HOURS to put on makeup and pick out a dress? Annoying.

2. PDA. I understand you love your boyfriend/fiance/husband/whatever. But really. Let him come up for air. Same goes for guys. I don't wanna see you making out in front of me while I wait in line for a movie, concert, comedy show or a HAPPY MEAL. Hold hands. Hug. Give little kisses. GREAT. Do not grope or start having sex in line. No one wants to see it and I promise you, not matter how dark it is, someone is wanting to vomit looking at you. Thanks.

3. CRAZY jealous girls. Really? Are you so insecure that you would really be upset with your guy for having friends that are girls? BUT you can have 9 million guy friends? Oh, but that's "different". No. It isn't. Let the boy have his gal pals. Some guys need chick friends. Some guys get along better with them. If he wanted to be with HER, then he either would have tried... or they already have. Either way it didn't work out, stop WHINING about it.

4. OBSESSIVE GIRLS. Do you really need to know why it took him an hour to answer your text when normally it only takes 2-5 minutes depending on if he had to take a crap first? He didn't call you after work like you like him to so you CALL and TEXT a hundred times until he picks up the phone and then YOU'RE angry he's upset at you? Stop being crazy. Weirdo.

5. CRAZY EXES. Okay. I understand it was the best month and a half of your life and you two were engaged... but stop driving past his house. Stop stalking him on FB and PLEASE for the love of all which is HOLY don't text him, call him, email him, carrier pigeon, or smoke signal him. It's called a break up because it's BROKEN. Cry all you need.. Call your girlfriends. You have half the time the relationship lasts to grieve. Then we don't care anymore. And honestly, your girlfriends stop caring MUCH sooner, we just understand and listen. After month one we wanted you to shut up. But we still love you. He doesn't want to hear about the dream you had and if he knew half the crap you DID.. he would get a restraining order. Truth.

"Down again -- it seems a losing fight Yet, down again, I sit, to try to write" -Ted Leo

I was trying to think of something to blog about, and I was reading through my journal and found amazing haiku's, poems and short thoughts that perfectly piece together my life of the past few months, like:


"Dear self, door numbers one and two sucked. Next time take cash option."


"Reminder to self, don't trust ANYONE.
Living in matrix type world.
Take the pill that allows you to eat steak."


"Haiku:
I dated a boy
He sucked worse than your mother
Damn it all to hell"


"A stranger in her own world
Colors mix and sway
Finger painted smiles drip
And swiftly change to grey

Dip your hand in ink
And leave your mark upon the day
Don't worry what the others think
What they see in you, or say

Close your eyes and paint the image
That so boldly clouds your view
They see only whats been painted
But not what resides in you"


"Painted something amazing. Describe it? Puddle of oozy mess.
But it has my hand print on it and that makes it kindergarten greatness."


"Funny how life goes full circle and whats past finds you again.."


"I ate word soup today... oddly it tasted like chicken..."


"Well, sometimes you know whats going on. Sometimes you don't. Sometimes what you think you want is exactly what you really DON'T want but don't know it. And sometimes amazing things are coming to you and you need to be patient and wait. Sometimes life's a roller coaster that doesn't seem to ever stop. Sometimes it's a sailboat with out any wind standing perfectly still. But all bad ends. Good things arise. And happiness finds you. And sometimes you are so amazed at what life gives you, you cant even express yourself. Sometimes."

Is amazed at amazing things

I love moving. Honestly. It has to be one of my favorite things. I LOOOOVE changing. I love big changes, little changes, hard changes, easy changes. I love it.
I love moving to new places and starting over. I may hate when relationships end, but I love the stronger I get through each situation. I love changing jobs, even though it sucks being the new guy. I love proving myself and working hard. I love that each day is a new day to change who you are. I love big changes as well as small ones. Changing my hair color, my room arrangement, my facebook statuses. I love change.

What I don't like.. is the moment right before the change. The worry, stress, fear. I love when it's happening and after it happens. But I hate the still before. My mom and I are moving out of our house soon. We have 30 days. It sucks. But there it is. And I'm excited, even through the stress. A new start. A new place. I have an amazing job, a new life I'm starting, I'm a new me and now a new place.

I really don't know if or where this is going anywhere. I just had to say it. Sigh.

Life is really great right now.

Christmas is going to be amazing this year. I have amazing friends and an amazing family. I'm so thankful. I sound like a hallmark card.

-Leslie-

“At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second glass. The refill contained the antidote.”

There are a few things about people that get under my skin:

1. Those who refuse to take responsibility for their screw ups

2. Those who blame their screw ups on others

3. Those who lie and fain ignorance so they won't have to take responsibility for something

I say this because all THREE are dwelling inside of a woman I work with. She is the LEAD in the Infant 2 class and it's pissing me off because I have to work with her. I have been blamed by her for more things than I care to talk about. I don't have a problem admitting when I'm wrong, if I screw up I'm sorry and I'll try to do better. There is no need to blame someone else.

*Today, two kids had scratched necks and she had no clue how they got there. She was alone with the kids all morning, if anyone knows, SHE DOES.

*I opened the cabinet to get food ready for a child and GNATS flew everywhere. I knew there was something gross up in there. And there shouldn't be. There should be NO FOOD that isn't bagged or in a jar up there. NOTHING. So I get up on a step ladder (cause I'm too short to reach the top shelf, shush..) and I take the bag of cereal out.. and I see it... in the corner of the top shelf is a freaking BANANA. A black banana. A black... Maggot infested... banana. What. The. Hell.
So I take it out... put it in a ziplock bag to show the office and pull EVERYTHING out of the cabinets and start cleaning. My boss was PISSED to say the least. Stephanie and I BOTH left exciting and bitchy notes to her and when she called to let us know she wasn't coming back this afternoon we both went off on her.

*The I was asked to stay in infants and clean up her kitchen and make sure everything was labeled. I was in there for 2 1/2 hours doing it. LAME.

*She also has this problem with not labeling things.. like sippy cups. Each child has one. Each one has a lid. The lids are NEVER put back on them so if the lids are off and not labeled and the cups aren't labeled how are you supposed to know which part goes to which cup that goes to which CHILD. It's a pet peeve of mine. A big one. LABEL THEIR BOTTLES AND SIPPY CUPS. It's against licensing to not do so. She could get fired or written up and I would go down with her.

I'm tired of picking up her slack. I have to clean her class, and I'm not even in there anymore. I have to clean up HER rotten banana. I have to label HER sippy cups, bottles, jar food, diapers and wipes because she doesn't. When I was in there I did the bulletin boards, art projects.... -sigh-

Okay. Officially ranted. Go me.