Zombie Jesus Day

I'm not one for blasphemy... but that's funny. =)

I spent the night at Nikki and Megan's last night.. and there is so much drama going on with Jason it's not funny. I was hoping that when him and I stopped being friends that everything would calm down and his girlfriend would back off, but it's gotten worse. And he's taking it because he "LOOOOVES HER". He sounds like one of those stupid abused females on Maury who stay with their husbands because they love them, even though they ran over them with the car. Really.

Outside of that they seem to be doing quite well. Nikki is going to ACU this fall, which means I'll be visiting her a lot. I can't live without my Nikki. I'll miss my SEESTER too much.

Spending time with my dad today. It's more like.. I'm writing and watching Last Boyscout while he cooks and we are the only ones here at the moment. Exciting stuff that =)

Promise to Forgive

:So I definitely wrote this as lyrics, not a poem:

I've always been in love affairs
That were picture-in-picture
So forgive me if being on the big screen is something new
But I promise I'll fill the screen with love songs and melodies
That will take your breath away
I promise you today...

You won't regret the ticket it took to hold me close to you
And I'll cover your heart if only for a moment or two
But forgive me if I'm clumsy or say the wrong things
Cause the right ones always got me hurt,
so I'm used to holding in feelings
But I'm tired of being guarded
So I'm just gonna leap
No matter how steep, the fall...

I've always been the one to kiss,
the one to touch, to hold, to love the most
I've never had a love returned,
and that's what has hurt me the most
I've been waiting for a love to love me unconditionally
I have so much love to give
That's part of what makes me, me

So forgive me if I clothe myself in false security
And if I don't know how to reach for your hand
I hope you'll understand
That I'm scared you'll burn me
And I already have so many scars
I'm trying to hide

But I promise you the truth to every question that you ask me
And I swear to you that I'll never wear my mask again
I'm so used to being everyone elses version of me
But you pull out someone that I used to be
I'm scared you won't like what you see
The real me

Forgive me for the worries that dance inside of my head
For the imperfections or anything that
Might make you see red
And I hope you'll learn to love me when blue skies turn gray
And learn to love me more with each passing day
Cause I promise I will too
Hear the truth in what I say

And forgive me for everything I'm not
But I'll promise you everything that I am
I just hope you understand

I want a little quickie, you want a little quickie, I'll give a little quickie, dang I'm such a ho.

I'm sitting with Megan. She has decided I should blog about how sexy she is.
While this is true, she is:

1) 15, and that's pedophil-ic.

AND:

2) Female

Both I don't find SEXY. Sorry. But I will write about how annoying it is to have her read this over my shoulder. Verbatim. OUTLOUD. And she is correcting my grammar, EVEN THOUGH I HAVE SPELL CHECK red underlining EVERYTHING. Because I need it. Because I type faster than my brain works. Factoid.

Megan for some reason thinks all Midgets create chocolate from tree houses. I do not own a tree, nor a house... but I do make delicious treats. Just don't ask where the chocolate comes from. I do change diapers for a living.

(Megan giggled)
(So did Nikki)

Nikki says she more CHUCKLED, than GIGGLED. My BAD!

/End

"There was an awkward pause, and something that should’ve began, Just passed us by." -Ted Leo

So I had a post all written on Saturday that I was going to finish writing yesterday and now that post is utterly pointless so I'm going to rant to you now about annoying girls. This is a rant I've been needing to get out. If you are a girl, you may get offended and if you get offended reading this then I'm pretty sure it's because you ARE an annoying girl, sorry about your bad luck. So here are my top reasons for hating girls:

1. They take three hours to get ready. Seriously. I can get up, take a shower, blow dry AND straighten my hair, do makeup and get dressed in one hour. If I can do all that, why does it take you THREE HOURS to put on makeup and pick out a dress? Annoying.

2. PDA. I understand you love your boyfriend/fiance/husband/whatever. But really. Let him come up for air. Same goes for guys. I don't wanna see you making out in front of me while I wait in line for a movie, concert, comedy show or a HAPPY MEAL. Hold hands. Hug. Give little kisses. GREAT. Do not grope or start having sex in line. No one wants to see it and I promise you, not matter how dark it is, someone is wanting to vomit looking at you. Thanks.

3. CRAZY jealous girls. Really? Are you so insecure that you would really be upset with your guy for having friends that are girls? BUT you can have 9 million guy friends? Oh, but that's "different". No. It isn't. Let the boy have his gal pals. Some guys need chick friends. Some guys get along better with them. If he wanted to be with HER, then he either would have tried... or they already have. Either way it didn't work out, stop WHINING about it.

4. OBSESSIVE GIRLS. Do you really need to know why it took him an hour to answer your text when normally it only takes 2-5 minutes depending on if he had to take a crap first? He didn't call you after work like you like him to so you CALL and TEXT a hundred times until he picks up the phone and then YOU'RE angry he's upset at you? Stop being crazy. Weirdo.

5. CRAZY EXES. Okay. I understand it was the best month and a half of your life and you two were engaged... but stop driving past his house. Stop stalking him on FB and PLEASE for the love of all which is HOLY don't text him, call him, email him, carrier pigeon, or smoke signal him. It's called a break up because it's BROKEN. Cry all you need.. Call your girlfriends. You have half the time the relationship lasts to grieve. Then we don't care anymore. And honestly, your girlfriends stop caring MUCH sooner, we just understand and listen. After month one we wanted you to shut up. But we still love you. He doesn't want to hear about the dream you had and if he knew half the crap you DID.. he would get a restraining order. Truth.

"Down again -- it seems a losing fight Yet, down again, I sit, to try to write" -Ted Leo

I was trying to think of something to blog about, and I was reading through my journal and found amazing haiku's, poems and short thoughts that perfectly piece together my life of the past few months, like:


"Dear self, door numbers one and two sucked. Next time take cash option."


"Reminder to self, don't trust ANYONE.
Living in matrix type world.
Take the pill that allows you to eat steak."


"Haiku:
I dated a boy
He sucked worse than your mother
Damn it all to hell"


"A stranger in her own world
Colors mix and sway
Finger painted smiles drip
And swiftly change to grey

Dip your hand in ink
And leave your mark upon the day
Don't worry what the others think
What they see in you, or say

Close your eyes and paint the image
That so boldly clouds your view
They see only whats been painted
But not what resides in you"


"Painted something amazing. Describe it? Puddle of oozy mess.
But it has my hand print on it and that makes it kindergarten greatness."


"Funny how life goes full circle and whats past finds you again.."


"I ate word soup today... oddly it tasted like chicken..."


"Well, sometimes you know whats going on. Sometimes you don't. Sometimes what you think you want is exactly what you really DON'T want but don't know it. And sometimes amazing things are coming to you and you need to be patient and wait. Sometimes life's a roller coaster that doesn't seem to ever stop. Sometimes it's a sailboat with out any wind standing perfectly still. But all bad ends. Good things arise. And happiness finds you. And sometimes you are so amazed at what life gives you, you cant even express yourself. Sometimes."